Tortillas at Midnight

Dear Ruby, Dogs can’t read as far as I know, but if you can somehow translate all these squiggly lines into tangible woofs, then this is for you. I love you! We love you. We loved you and loved you and you’ve been the most wonderful four-legged family member we could have hoped for. You drove me up the wall on a regular basis and I’m so sorry for my impatience towards you at times. Having a baby that needed to sleep and a dog that liked to bark is a tricky combination to manage. I’m sorry for getting frustrated with you. I’m sorry for getting overwhelmed when you’d run around my feet in circles and I was trying to hold the crying baby and all the shopping bags. I’m sorry for being one very flawed dog mum, when all you wanted to do was love us loudly and chaotically at all times. I do hope that you believed me when I would pat your head and tell you I loved you each night before we’d go to sleep. Whenever my husband, your dog dad, was out at a work thing at night you’d happily take up h...

  “Ahh” the doctor said knowingly, as he peered into her mouth. “Looks like hand, foot, and mouth to me,” he then explained while examining her toes. “You’ll need to keep her home and away from everyone.” he concluded, handing me a prescription for more pamol with the cautious warning, “you’ll need it.” I used to think hand, foot, and mouth was something that only plagued unlucky sheep. However, toddlerhood has shown me that if there's a gross bug to catch, they will catch it. They just seem to lick everything in sight. This prognosis of having our usual routine disrupted made me feel a bit all over the place. // I feel dull. And dulled. Each day that stretches before me yawns, gaping, open, an unfathomable expanse of wondering how I’ll possibly cope. The clawing anxiety sets in too - if these days are long and heavy right now, how much more will they swell and expand in a few months time when my second baby arrives? Am I meant to feel this way? Maybe this is the united, fearful st...