The five best and five hardest things about being a parent.

Will this list be cliche?

Probably.

In fact, if you have stumbled upon this void within internet-land, you probably also happen to be a parent. This makes the list kind of redundant, because you will already know that parenting is lovely and hard and lovely and hard and how sometimes it kind of makes you want to curl up in a ball.

Perhaps the list can just be for my future reference then. When I'm in one of those inevitable highest highs or lowest lows then I can read this to reflect. Like when my toddler starts sleeping through the night again and isn't cutting any teeth and it's the weekend and my heart feels all full? I can read this list and be truly appreciative of how content I feel and of the ebbs and flows of parenting, without feeling smug. Because the challenges will keep on coming. So then when I feel down and everything is too hard and I'm getting no sleep, then I can remember that one day my toddler will sleep again and one day I'll stop throwing up and eating tortillas at midnight. This will hopefully remind me that maybe everything will be okay. That every season will pass.

Without further ado, here is said list:

The five best things about being a parent:

1. The LOVE. How could this not be number one? The way that your kids make your heart soar and hurt like nothing else. It's a whole different, beautiful kind of love. Sometimes it takes a while to get there when you're in the thick of newbornhood, but you will feel it. I promise. When my daughter was born I loved her, of course I did, but it definitely took a couple of months to feel that swooning, giddy type of love. Silent reflux and depression made it hard to feel that at the start, but it only grew with time.
2. Watching your child learn how to do absolutely everything. I never really thought about this before becoming a parent. But when your baby is born, literally all they know how to do is: cry (well), sleep (with your help), and suck (kind of). Every single other skill they need for life, they have to learn. And that learning journey can be frustrating for both them and you, because it's hard on their brains to work out how to be a functioning person. But it is also so incredible to witness them develop everything they need to live their life. From simply focusing their vision, to holding their head, to smiling, to sitting up, to crawling, standing, using a spoon, coordinating their arms and legs! And that's only the tip of the iceberg. It's just wonderful.
3. When your child does something super cute. This kind of stuff usually includes: cuddles, kisses, running to you with their arms outstretched, saying "mama". You know, all those dangerous things that make your heart want to have 10, but your brain want to shrivel up at the thought.
4. The strength and resilience you gain from the parenting journey. This one is huge! Having a child forces you out of your comfort zone big time. Whether it's questioning and challenging your own behaviors and perspectives, or putting yourself in situations that you wouldn't previously need to, it's what you do. Overnight you become a teacher, a coach, an advocate, and a counselor, just by becoming a parent.
5. When they sleep. And you sleep too. And then you both wake up feeling well rested. No more needs to be said.

The five hardest things about being a parent:

1. The relentlessness of your role. This is something I wasn't prepared for at all and to be honest, I don't think anything can truly prepare you for the sheer relentlessness of parenthood. My husband and I were actually shocked when we brought our newborn home, about how much our lives had changed in a way we couldn't prepare for. You need to be on 24/7. There are no breaks. There are no holidays. It is constant and without a doubt, the hardest job you'll ever have. 
2. Managing your own expectations. While I was pregnant and working full-time, I used to think about all of the things I'd be able to do once our baby arrived! Please laugh. It's hilarious in hindsight. I had to lower my expectations hugely, because it's simply not humanly possible to achieve everything you hope to achieve while you're raising a small person. And it's especially not possible to achieve everything that social media tells us we ought to be doing. It's taken me a long time to reach this point, but my goal for each day is to care for myself and my daughter, do the dishes, and do one load of laundry. That's it. Anything else is a bonus.
3. Other people's judgement/criticism/unsolicited advice. Being a new parent makes you incredibly vulnerable. You're trying to learn how to cope with your new life while raising your little bean. You don't know what "normal" is, so you have to seek that out from outside sources, which can really mess with you. There are whole industries built upon making money from the vulnerabilities of new mothers. There are always people you don't really care about waiting to tell you that you're doing it wrong. Having to hear all about how things were "back in the day". Learning to find your own voice and ways of parenting among all of this is hard.
4. Having your needs come last. Some days you will be so tired you will cry. Some days you won't wash your hair for a fortnight. Some days you won't remember the last time you ate. It's a big change.
5. When they don't sleep. So you can't sleep. The torture of sleep deprivation. You might end up Googling if you can die from sleep deprivation. I don't know the answer. All I can say is this: in the thick of it, keep going. Find your people. Do what you need to cope. Repeat to yourself that it will pass. Get it tattooed if you need to.

So, these are the things that gloriously make up parenthood, well for me any way. I hope you find that they echo with you too.