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Tortillas at Midnight



It’s just after midnight and I’m trying to open up one of those mini Sistema pea containers as quietly as possible. I always wonder if anyone actually uses them for peas. Personally I’ve only used them for packing grapes or marmite sandwiches, well and now a dry, folded tortilla, so I do wonder what other people put in them. Anyway, I manage to carefully snap the sides open while the dog keeps snoring at the other end of our room and our toddler keeps snoring with her feet in my face so this counts as a win. Tonight, I need these small wins.


She woke up just after ten and it was fine at first, I was rocking her back to sleep and made the mistake of smugly thinking that I could go back to bed and eat my tortilla soon. She must have heard my hopeful thoughts and out of nowhere threw her giraffe on the ground and became inconsolable. One bottle and five attempts to put her back into her own bed later, it became clear. I would have to eat my tortilla in stealth-mode.


You might be wondering why I’m talking so much about tortillas. This is a short piece and so far I’ve written the word tortilla more times than I’ve probably ever said it in my whole life. Anyway, I promise I have a very normal relationship with tortillas. I used to eat a very normal quantity of tortillas before I became pregnant with our second baby. Maybe like a few a year? I’m not sure how many the average person eats, but I’m pretty sure that most people don’t take a Sistema pea container with an emergency tortilla with them to bed each night.


Long story short, the only foods that are vaguely appertizing right now are lemon ice blocks, cucumber, and dry tortillas. The first two involve too much admin for a night time snack, so a tortilla it is. I’m less likely to vomit and wake my toddler if I remember to eat, so it’s a win-win. 


So, back to last night. I manage to sneakily get the tortilla out of the container, eat it while half falling out of the bed, because, you know, a toddler and a husband, and the bubbling nausea settles down. I am now much more prepared for a sleepless night of worry about: What If My Toddler Never Sleeps Again and How Will I Cope With Another Baby and Rental Tax. You know, all those fun thoughts that one can enjoy with their tortillas at midnight.

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