Sorry, but what fresh slice of hell is this?

A few days ago I was peacefully scrolling, minding my own utterly mindless business, when I came across something that made me do a double take.

It was like something out of a sitcom with a fake laughter track and all.

But instead of canned laughter, it was more a horrified exclamation of, “surely this has to be a bad joke?” And then actual, pure horror upon realizing it wasn't.

No, The Grudge (2004) with her memorable grumble wasn't waving happily from an ad banner. Nor did the pandemic deniers run an ad, promising that if you join them, you'll get to burn down a 5g tower for free.

Far worse, actually. It was this.

The Garmin Vivofit Disney Princess Activity Tracker. And this is just one example of the many different fitness trackers out there that are aimed at children.

Yes, these devices actually do exist. I would blame it on just being another slice of fresh hell brought to you direct from 2020 itself, but turns out these watches have already been on the market for a few years.

In all its either pink or purple glory, you can buy your child (aimed at 6+, as naturally, we wouldn’t want to start them too young) a fitness tracker so they can monitor their sleep, steps, activity levels, and calories! It even has a setting where you can monitor if they’re doing their chores!

If Belle, Ariel, or Mulan aren’t your kid's vibe though, don't worry because there’s also Black Panther and Ironman available too. Obviously these options are aimed at the young men out there, as we wouldn't want traditional gender stereotypes to exclude any child from an early introduction to toxic diet culture.

Okay, enough of the satire now though because I’m honestly enraged about this and slightly worried that if I keep going, that the two people who read my blog will take it seriously and think I’m out to poach six year olds for Atkins.

I can’t even begin to comprehend 1) that a group of people decided it was a jolly good idea to create this product and 2) that people actually buy, you know with real life money, these devices for their children. 

Normally, I’m mostly on the "you do you" parenting vibe (or as a wise person once told me, “every time you cast a judgement, you cloud yourself from learning anything”), but with this? Yeah nah. It's horrific. I'll take my judgement and its cloud of ignorance this time.

The very concept of an activity tracker designed specifically for children is such a sky high level of messed-up-ness. Some of the trackers do measure calories and others apparently don’t. But either way, it’s all just a slippery slope isn’t it? These devices are designed to lull children into a light obsession with measuring their bodies; quantifying their worth. Obviously, society already has a plethora of issues surrounding diet culture; weight loss obsession, the elusive “wellness” industries, wide-scale body shaming and fatphobia just to name a few. This culture is typically aimed at adults. Instead, these watches are purely out to get young kids roped into something incredibly dangerous and harmful. And light obsessions can so easily and subtly turn into something far, far more sinister.

There are a magnitude of factors that tie into a child developing an eating disorder, body image issues, or an anxiety disorder. An activity tracker will not solely cause any of these things to happen, but inevitably it will cause harm and may contribute to the onset of ill mental health. Not every child that has Ariel counting their steps will go on to develop a mental illness, yet it's a pretty safe bet that these devices could be a crucial turning point for those that do. And for those children who don’t experience full blown ramifications, we must still ask ourselves, what good is this product doing them? How does it teach them to view and value both their own and other's bodies? And how does it set them up for a resilient future in a world swamped in diet culture?

I reckon there's a special place in hell specifically for Disney Princess Activity Trackers (and let's not forget Black Panther and Ironman too). It’s probably right in between the "detox" tea that apparently is a meal replacement and the pyramid scheme that encourages your neighbor with zero professional expertise to sell a starvation diet to her colleagues beneath the guise of "hustling". You know, that spot we're all unfortunately familiar with.

Whatever side us parents are on for Santa or screen time or homeschooling (yes, parenting divisions  are both endless and ruthless), may we all please agree that these watches, carefully camouflaged under the guise of health and fun, are a fresh slice of hell that's incredibly dangerous to our children?