I’ve written my fair share about sleep deprivation on here, and you’re probably well and truly sick of hearing me go on about it now. For that I do apologise; it’s just hard to write about different things when your brain feels like mush day in and day out. Hopefully one day I’ll have enough brain power to write about something more exciting, like how awesome it is to feel awake! I can only dream . . .
Anyway, in terms of major fiscal holes in the interwebs, I reckon there is a giant one when it comes to advice on how to cope with sleep deprivation, rather than trying to fix it. I’m not going to delve into the whole sleep training or not yada yada, because it’s kind of unproductive and mainly because I can’t be bothered. It might also have something to do with that I can’t articulate anything even vaguely coherent right now. Rest assured though that this is a “spend $1276 and your baby will sleep 15 hours a day until they’re 25” free zone. I’m more just going to focus on what helps me to survive the months of exhaustion in one piece (okay, maybe about three to four pieces, but no more than five), when doing the obvious (AKA just having a bloody good sleep) isn’t an option.
Sleep deprivation can get you down so fast. It only takes a few rough nights in a row to derail your mental health, never mind the physical repercussions. But the upside of this is that when you eventually do start getting some sleep again, you feel better really fast! Like right now, it’s 2:30 am, but for the first time in a week I got to sleep for 3 hours in a row #livingthedream. And now I feel one hundred times more human!
This piece is so annoying and choppy already, but here we are. Lately, I’ve been so tired that I keep starting to do something and then promptly forgetting what I’m trying to do, so I just awkwardly stand there while my brain catches up to speed. And I’ve found that in these moments, all that goes through my head is “gobbilty gobbilty goo,” or some strange rendition of Waka Waka by Shakira. I feel a bit glitchy. And have you ever looked at the word “assesses”? Like properly? I read it for my editing work the other day and got stuck on it for a good few minutes. There are so many “s’” and little else. Who allowed that?
Anyway, without further ado, again:
1) Have something beyond your baby to focus on. Even though you have no time because it’s all eaten up by just loving your small humans, you need something beyond them to make yourself feel human and so that you can get through the day. Find something that makes you feel excited about the time ahead! Maybe it’s seeing friends, baking, gardening, or watching trashy TV. Then use this as fuel to be able to cope with the day ahead. Personally, I like to go op shopping when I feel all bogged down with exhaustion or work on my proofreading work. I know, I’m a real party animal.
2) Make the wake ups as enjoyable as possible. Yeah, I know, it’s unlikely. But you’re up anyway, whether you feel miserable or mildly less miserable. Find a show on Netflix that you want to watch. Read a book with your phone torch. Play sudoku. Pop in headphones and listen to a podcast. Find whatever it is that you need to make the time pass more pleasantly.
3) Reset your expectations about infant sleep. I think you definitely feel worse when you expect your baby to sleep through every night. Then inevitably, when it doesn’t happen, you have the weight of your crashed expectations on your shoulders as well as the actual exhaustion. Learn about the waves of baby and toddler sleep, of how it gets better and worse and better again. Learn about regressions as progressions. Learn about how they need you in the night, just like they do during the day.
4) Take any opportunity for sleep. Seriously. Any. Opportunity. Take. It. And. Run. (Actually, no, sleep don’t run. Running in this scenario would just be stupid). Even if it’s just a short nap, it can make you feel remarkably more human. Organise some windows during the weekend where you feed the babe and then hand them over to someone else so you can saunter off and catch some zzz’s for an hour or so. Just do it. Everything else comes second.
5) Delete all the trackers and stop counting. It’s hard, I know. It can make you feel strong to know that you dealt with one billion wake ups last night and got a total of 7 minutes of sleep. But it can also make you feel awful. Knowing precisely how little sleep you get doesn’t usually make you feel any better. It’s better to be slightly blissfully unaware of the actual numbers of your exhaustion.
6) Keep busy during the day. Go outside, go see people, do all the things to make yourself feel good. When I’m in a sleep deprivation cycle, I find it tricky to pack up everything and head out the door, despite it ~ surprise surprise ~ making me feel better. Seeing other people in the same boat as you can also really help, so go to all those baby classes where you sing the songs (even though you can’t sing - well I can’t anyway), and watch other kids spew on their clean outfits and feel better. It works wonders. And if anyone asks how they’re sleeping, you do you. If you like the person, tell the truth. If they’re annoying, just lie because you need to save your extra energy anyway. Same goes for Plunket.
7) Try to take care of yourself in other ways. I know it will feel like an impossibility. But do try. You’re already so run down when you’re sleep deprived, which is why it’s extra important to look after yourself as much as possible in other ways. You’re also more prone to getting sick when you’re exhausted. So take the vitamins, drink the water, eat the regular meals. And moisturise. I don’t know if that actually helps, but then at least if you fall asleep while washing the dishes your skin will be silky smooth.
8) And to end on a helpful hint for past Kaitlyn: if you could redo one thing from the past four months, FOR THE LOVE of your sanity, make sure the babe can take a bottle from the get go!?! Showering the birth off and unpacking your bag can wait. Get that bottle and try for one feed a day. Just make it happen! Because then, regardless of how you choose to feed the babe in the long term, you actually do have the option of handing them over to someone else so you can rest. Anyway, that’s just a helpful hint/a mild criticism from current me to past me! Xoxo.
See you on the flip side, team. And by flip side, I mean probably later tonight.
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