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2:23am thoughts.

Here’s a special selection of thoughts brought directly to you from the depths of an ungodly hour, where nothing makes any sense due to obvious reasons. Happy reading!

- Who on earth carved the manatee. Did they find the person? Was it Trump himself? Humans are Terrible, end of.

- One of my mum friends once told all of us other mum friends when we were in the depths of sleep deprivation with our first, that if you’re breastfeeding then apparently your body does some magic and each hour of sleep is technically worth double. So if you get a whooping 2.5 hours of sleep, then this supposedly equals a grand 5 hours. This doesn’t appear to make any sense, but I think everyone hoped/wished/begged it to be true.

- How do rubbish trucks collect the rubbish from a bin if there is a car parked in front? What is this sorcery? I’m 25 and I’ve never worked it out.

- BreastfeedingIsGreatBreastfeedingIsTerrible. Repeat x107, day and night.

- I was under the impression that only children wore mittens. I guess this is what you get for growing up in New Zealand, where mittens only seem to exist in relation to infants under 3 months or to the name of a beloved family cat. Shoutout to Joe for the enlightenment; mittens know no limits.

- Do you ever think you hear babies crying or songs playing when the white noise is really loud? No? Just me? Cool, cool.

- Is the Big Day Out still a thing?

- Are those locks with keys that you can buy from the home improvement store actually secure, because what’s to stop someone just buying the same set and then using their keys to open your lock?!

- It must be nice to be swaddled. It looks cosy.

- I would really like a gingerbread man right now. And some sleep. But let’s face it; a gingerbread man spontaneously appearing is a more likely scenario.

- Ooh the baby is asleep! Now for the anxiety-inducing, transition-to-the-bassinet. Seriously stealthy-laser vibes.


- Goodnight. See you in 45 minutes or 2 hours. What a lottery.
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